Thankfully, I’m not 12 or 85 but my bathing suit wants me to be.

The 2 things on this planet I hate shopping for the most? bathing suits & jeans. Ick. Lately I’ve tackled bathing suit shopping, but all too soon, probably this fall I fear I will have to go jean shopping. Sigh.

Let’s see. I think in the past 2 days I’ve tried on like 300 bathing suits. Who? Me? Exaggerate? Nah. Seriously though. I feel like I’m at that awkward age/body type where I need to wear a one piece. Now, not everyone surrounding me agrees with this decision but I’m going to do what makes me feel the most sexy so I want to exclusively wear one pieces.

Turns out one pieces are hard to come by. Either I should be a pre-teen or my grandmother. In case you hadn’t noticed, I’m neither. Also, there’s (of course!) price to take in to consideration. I wanted to keep it under $40. What? You think I’m a cheapskate? I think I’m a bargain shopper.

After stomping out of Khol’s, trying on everything in stock at JCP & yelling at the manager of TJMaxx, I finally purchased a cute number from Old Navy. Now, I think it should be noted that I’ve only been in Old Navy two other times in my entire life. But, nonetheless, its adorable, I look good in it, & I got it for $31…so under budget!!

Now, to break the news to you guys of why I needed a new bathing suit. J-Bird & I will be on VK this week at the beach. Sorry. This will be my only new post this week, guys. Don’t go having Brenna withdrawals or anything on me. I’ll be back next weekend with stories of sunburns and J-Bird getting on my nerves, I’m sure.

BrennaG.

I don’t need an interview unless its for professional time waster. Or creeper.

So, today was an interesting day. Well, that’s not really surprising living in my shoes, but nonetheless, strange. I drove a couple of towns over for an interview to be an intern at a photography studio.

I think the interview went well. I always do freakishly well at interviews, which is bizarre because I typically just wing it. I’m going to turn them down if I get offered the internship, though. It sounds too officy for me & like I wouldn’t learn jack shit. Figures.

I was already pretty close to the dress shop so I didn’t want to waste the gas to drive all the way back home, but I had 4 hours to kill before I had to be at work. Yea, you read that right, 4 whopping hours. I didn’t have a clue what the hell I was going to do.

I ended up at a pretty big mall, then went to a movie theater. I realized I’d never seen a movie by myself. Eh. Time to try that out today. Even though I’m not a big Zac Efron fan, I went to see The Lucky One, which actually turned out to be pretty alright. There were only 3 other creepers in the theater: a chick in daisy dukes, an Asian lady that wouldn’t stop crying & a huge bald guy. I was by far the most normal looking one there, even in my nice business attire.

I then took a slow, long walk to the mall food court to stuff my face. Whatever. I had time to kill. I wondered around for a while to take samples from all the Asian restaurants even though I had no intention of eating at any of them. Hey, now, I know you guys do that too. It doesn’t make me a bad person.

After lunch, I lurked around Nordstrom to steal their wi-fi (why the hell does a department store need wi-fi?!).

Then, due to my lack of sense of direction, I couldn’t find a bathroom, so I drove to the dress shop to use theirs. Oh well, they already know I’m craycray. They spend most days with me.

BrennaG.

The Asian Plaza (does this sound racist to anyone else…?)

Day 2 of couch hunting. It wasn’t really in the game plan to have couch shopping roll over into today, but J-Bird & I decided we weren’t satisfied with our options from yesterday, so we drove to the ghetto with the hopes of finding something cheaper.

Instead, we found bad drivers, adult stores galore, used car dealerships, pawn shops & the Asian Plaza (does this sound racist to anyone else…?). After driving around for 20 minutes the GPS took us to the back side of an old warehouse. I was pretty sure we were going to be murdered. Over a couch.

At my wit’s end, I told J-Bird we were going home. On our way, he mentioned we should stop by JCPenney to see if they had any couches. I reluctantly agreed. I mean, at least its in the richish part of town. Before we knew it, we were in JCPenney, falling in love…with a couch, that is, I was opening a credit card & the sales guy was telling us it would be delivered next week. WE ARE PROUD OWNERS OF A NEW COUCH, YA’LL!

We’re terribly excited. I’m so excited I actually admitted to J-Bird I like that new Justin Bieber song in the car, then I sang it loudly to him. So loudly, in fact, that he wouldn’t open the door when we arrived home in fear that the neighbors would hear what we were listening to. Whatever.

*happy dance*

BrennaG

Apparently finding a new couch is a lot like searching for bigfoot.

In previous posts, I have tried to explain in so many words how much I hate my current couch. Actually, we don’t even use it. Ever.

We’ve been talking about getting a new couch for years now, but have never had the money to do so. I’m finally fed up with ghetto styling it & sitting on the floor, so we are taking the leap into getting a new couch.

I was under the impression that we’d go to a few places, find the one, it’d be delivered next week & we’d live happily ever after. No, no, no. Apparently finding a new couch is a lot like searching for bigfoot. Impossible to find. Perhaps it’s because we’re being really, really picky about the kind of couch that we want. We want a couch with a chaise lounge on it, nothing too terribly big, no leather and our budget is $500 and under.

We’ve been out shopping all day & came back home with 2 contenders. One is previously rented & will be slightly over budget by the time we cover delivery. It’s also a little on the large side. Like, so large, we’d have to sell all other furniture in the living room except the coffee table. The other one is kind of a strange color (at least according to me…dark blue?) and over budged by $200, but brand new. We also would be able to keep my favorite chair in the living room as opposed to selling it.

We’ve also got to figure out what to do with the old couch. If I had it my way, we’d burn it in the street, but the neighbors might not appreciate that as much as I would.

Happy Monday.

BrennaG.

I’m oatmeal, not black velvet, apparently.

My mom showed up for a surprise visit around 12:30 yesterday afternoon. After showing her around my house (she’s never been here, never seen it), we headed over to Rite Aid to get my crazy meds filled (fine, my migraine meds).

Mom wanted to head to Applebee’s for lunch, so we headed over there to get some omnoms. Mom proceeded to dance in her seat to every song that came on & to flirt with our waiter…typical. Good thing the restaurant was mostly empty by that time of the day because while she’s a bit of a public dancer…I’m a singer. Yep. Terrible at it, but I’ll do it. Loud & proud & not just in the car.

We went to Target because Mom insisted I help her pick out a new pair of shoes. We have quite different fashion tastes though. While she was over on the tennis shoe aisle, I yelled from the next aisle over, How do you feel about coral colored sandals? They’re only $14.99! Ohhhhhh!!! These flats sparkle & so will you!  Upon meeting in the middle, I told her not to pick anything that was going to make her look 50 or older, so we settled on a simple pair of white flats that we figured would go with anything. She was so excited she made me rip the tags off as we were walking back out to the car so she could put them on before we got to JCPenney.

Last stop. JCPenney. This is when I realized I didn’t own any normal colored panty hose. I own 2 black pair, a grey pair, a pink pair, & a purple pair. I don’t think I’ve ever even bought a skin colored pair, so I was sort of lost. Mom, what do these colors mean? The names don’t make sense. Am I black velvet or smokey? The sizes are even confusing. Am I short or queen? My mom gives me that look. The look only a mother can give. Well, you’re not black, so let’s not buy you black velvet anything. I’d say you’re oatmeal or bone. I’d also pick up the package to look at the size chart, but queen sounds like a nice way of saying huge. I picked up the oatmeal & the bone package. The bone looked vampire white, so I went with the oatmeal. I am oatmeal colored. Good to know. I also fall into neither short or queen size, but average. What?! How boring is that? Average oatmeal?

After feeling boring, I bought a bright orange pencil skirt to liven my life.

Live bright, not average.

BrennaG.

If only I were that easy. I mean it, if only it were that easy.

Ever since I graduated from college almost 2 years ago, I’ve progressively gotten more poor, thus becoming more frugal & less of a shopper. I’m always looking for a great deal, as both J-bird & I only work part time jobs & well we’re on the verge of poverty. Neither of us made that step that you’re supposed to make into adulthood where you find the job that you spent like 6 years in school for & make like a million dollars a year. Or, at the very least $30,000. We don’t ask for much, eh? Anyway, we still love window shopping, & one of our favorite places to go is TJMaxx. The unique shit, cheap prices…it just draws us RIGHT IN every time.

The other night, as we were browsing around, I saw a set of lamps that we didn’t need but I really wanted. J-bird immediately asked the price. Its only $40 for the set! I said, excited, thinking it was a good deal. When he looked at me like I had three heads I said, Do you think I could haggle the price down?

His response? If you flash the cashier, I’m leaving you.

It pains me how well he knows me sometimes.

BrennaG