Tag Archives: beach

Nipples, jellyfish & bellybuttons: a week with my family.

I’m officially back from vacation! I must say that between terrorizing my younger cousins and being terrorized by my cousins I’m ready for another vacation.

I’ll just highlight a few things about the trip. Let’s see, shall we do a list? Let’s do.

  • My cousin got third degree burns on his nipple. Apparently if you put salt & ice together, it burns your skin off?
  • That same cousin got stung by a jelly fish & I taught him how to pee on his sting.
  • J-Bird woke me up at 6 am to go bike riding on the island we were staying on.
  • My mom danced in front of God and everyone in a beachwear store. I’m pretty sure they considered kicking us out.
  • My brother’s girlfriend talked me into trying on ridiculous bathing suits while my mom danced.
  • A different cousin went off to get her bellybutton pierced. She’s only 15.
  • That same cousin spilled Cheeze-Itz all over my bedroom floor, so we had little orange crumbs everywhere like the entire week.
  • We visited the local aquarium. I petted a bamboo shark. I also yelled at a small Asian man in the cafe for not giving me a free refill on my drink.
  • During the family photo shoot, I fell off a stool & still have the bruise to show for it.
  • My mom & I purchased matching sweatshirts.
  • I called 911 on two guys that hit my mom’s car with fireworks on the 4th of July.

So there it is. My vacation, which I know is a stretch in the meaning of the word, in a nutshell. I go back to work today. Back to life. Back to reality.

BrennaG.

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No, this isn’t the latest reality TV show. It’s worse.

Can you imagine 20ish people staying in a beach house for an entire week without killing each other? No, this isn’t the latest reality TV show.

Welcome to my yearly 4th of July family beach trip, which officially starts this Saturday.

Its our family tradition (on my mom’s side) to all pile into a beach front house & stay together for our “vacation”. Which usually ends up being so stressful, as you can imagine, that it doesn’t feel like a vacation at all. Family members include: my grandparents, my aunt, my batty cousin, 12 million bratty cousins, 1 cool cousin, 2 cousin’s boyfriends, my mom, my brother (Reese, who’s flying in from California today for this wondrous adventure) & Reese’s girlfriend. Oh yea, & the two most important people: J-Bird & I. In case you lost count, that’s a lot of people.

I’m excited. No, I’m dreading it. No, I don’t know what the hell I am. I want a week off of work & to see Reese (it’s been awhile since I’ve seen him). Just thought I’d give you all a heads up that you may not hear from me next week. Or ever if I don’t make it out alive.

BrennaG.

Vacation Part 2: the tropical depression, which is the story of my life.

We did end up going to the beach if you’ve read part 1 of the Vacation log. Upon arriving at the beach front we realized it would be $2 per hour to park there, so we began scraping together change for the parking meter. This shouldn’t have been that hard of a task since I’d just robbed the Indian man, but my purse eats things, so as I sat there & dug around another car pulled up to the meter beside us.

A young woman stepped out of the car & began putting change in (apparently) what she thought was her meter. It was actually ours. Now, since they were clearly labeled, we considered this her fault & this happens to be our second robbery of that day. We didn’t pay her meter, we just simply walked away. I know, I’ve had some bad karma, believe me.

After walking along the beach for a while, we began to wonder along the streets of houses. Cute little houses. Snapping pictures. Laughing. Joking. Until J-Bird (I kid you not) almost gets knocked right in the head with a dead baby bird falling from the sky. We still do not know where the damn thing fell from or what happened exactly, but smack. Right there on the pavement, J-Bird having a panic attack & all.

We decided after that it was time to head back to the hotel room. Which is where we stayed until Thursday morning because of the tropical depression that dumped tons of rain on us Wednesday. We were under flood warnings, tornado watches & severe t-storm something or others all day.

We rounded the trip off with a beach day on Thursday, where I got to wear my new bathing suit & we didn’t even get a sunburn! Yay!

I’m pretty sure we need a vacation after that vacation. Actually, I might just opt out of vacations from now until the end of time.

BrennaG.

Vacation Part 1: I think I robbed an Indian man.

Our mini-vacation was…an adventure to say the least. I’m splitting it up into 2 (or 3) posts to keep you guys coming back for more. Let me start a few months ago when I found the deal on Travelocity with their “secret” rooms. If you’ve never shopped with them, secret rooms are hotel rooms you can get really cheap but the catch is they don’t tell you where you’re going to be staying. I suppose it was a risk I was willing to take, I knew by the end of May J-Bird & I would want to take a few days off & go to the beach.

So Tuesday we packed up the car pumped & ready to get to the beach. 2 and a half hours later we were checking in to a Travelodge, which happened to be the room Travelocity booked us with their secret stinking room. Upon opening the door to room 238, the smell hit us like a brick wall. I’m pretty sure strippers & drug dealers were in this room the evening before we arrived. We figured we’d already paid for it, the money was non-refundable, perhaps we could just stick it out.

Upon further inspection, I found what may or may not have been puke on the carpet by the bed. Disgusted, I lifted up the comforter to see something brown splattered (blood? had a drug deal gone bad?) all up the side of the bed. This marked meltdown number 1. I screamed. J-Bird started Googling other hotels in the area.

As J-Bird found another hotel & packed the room up, I went to turn our room keys in & complain. As I approached the lobby I tried to remind myself not to be rude to the tiny Indian man who stood behind the counter. I put the keys down and sternly said We will not be staying in your hotel this evening. He, of course started asking about the room’s cleanliness & if we would like a new room. No, sir. The carpet is disgusting. It smells horrible. We’re just going somewhere else. Thanks anyway.

What happened next is where things get fuzzy. He started handing me cash. Out of the register. Now, our room was supposed to be non-refundable, so I’m not sure why he was handing me money. Also, just pointing out, but we paid $80 for the room, in the end, he gave me $67. I don’t know how this worked out, but I’m pretty sure I robbed the guy. The worst part? I was so mad, I took the money.

I ran to the car & screamed to J-Bird to get in because I had just robbed the owner of the hotel. We freaked out & drove away.

10 minutes later we were checking into a Days Inn which was much much better. We then had to make the tough decision of whether we wanted to go to the beach or just stay in the room. Stay tuned for part 2 tomorrow to see where we ended up & how we may have accidentally robbed a girl later that night.

BrennaG.

Thankfully, I’m not 12 or 85 but my bathing suit wants me to be.

The 2 things on this planet I hate shopping for the most? bathing suits & jeans. Ick. Lately I’ve tackled bathing suit shopping, but all too soon, probably this fall I fear I will have to go jean shopping. Sigh.

Let’s see. I think in the past 2 days I’ve tried on like 300 bathing suits. Who? Me? Exaggerate? Nah. Seriously though. I feel like I’m at that awkward age/body type where I need to wear a one piece. Now, not everyone surrounding me agrees with this decision but I’m going to do what makes me feel the most sexy so I want to exclusively wear one pieces.

Turns out one pieces are hard to come by. Either I should be a pre-teen or my grandmother. In case you hadn’t noticed, I’m neither. Also, there’s (of course!) price to take in to consideration. I wanted to keep it under $40. What? You think I’m a cheapskate? I think I’m a bargain shopper.

After stomping out of Khol’s, trying on everything in stock at JCP & yelling at the manager of TJMaxx, I finally purchased a cute number from Old Navy. Now, I think it should be noted that I’ve only been in Old Navy two other times in my entire life. But, nonetheless, its adorable, I look good in it, & I got it for $31…so under budget!!

Now, to break the news to you guys of why I needed a new bathing suit. J-Bird & I will be on VK this week at the beach. Sorry. This will be my only new post this week, guys. Don’t go having Brenna withdrawals or anything on me. I’ll be back next weekend with stories of sunburns and J-Bird getting on my nerves, I’m sure.

BrennaG.