Monthly Archives: February 2012

The apocalypse is about to happen…

Because Snooki is preggers, in case you haven’t heard. Yea, that’s our future right there. A mini-Snooki running around. Tanning by the age of 6 months. Getting nails did by the ripe old age of 9 months. Hair extensions by 11 months. Wrinkles by 15 months. They do grow up sooo fast.

So, I think that when she has a baby, the world will end. That’s my theory. Screw the Mayans. So the rumor is she’s what? 4 months preggers? That gives us 5 months to prepare for the end of the world.

Get ready.


I kill things easily so something really resilient would be terrific.

J-Bird & I have been thinking about getting a pet for a while now. Thing is, over the past couple days, we’ve made a few big decisions (like we’re staying in the Amityville house & helping to fix it up) so now that we’re in a semi-stable environment, we thought it might be a good time to consider a pet.

We’re on a tight budget, so we need something pretty cheap & I kill things easily so something really resilient would be terrific too. J-Bird doesn’t mind reptiles (well, I don’t really either, depending on what it is), but I really want something fuzzy that I can play with. We’d prefer something in a cage so it doesn’t bother the roommate.

So, I give you, our list.

  • Lizard. I might make it a fur coat to make up for it not being fuzzy. Potential names: Ozzy or Leslie.
  • Chinchilla. Perhaps a little out of our price range…but sooo darn cute. Potential names: Tilley or Carlitos.
  • Frog. Again, not fuzzy, but I can forgo the fuzziness because its J-Bird’s favorite animal. Potential names: Tenacious D or Petunia.
  • Hamster. I think these bite, but J-Bird’s impression of them makes them cute. Potential names: Ben or Molly.
  • Lionhead rabbit. Probably my favorite on this list because they have bangs. Potential names: Chaz or Midori.
  • Hedgehog. Perhaps a little prickly & hard to care for (they hibernate), but very cute. Potential names: Limeade or Francesca.

Alright. There you have it. Now I need your opinions. Own any of these? Want to? Don’t think I should? Tell me!!


True Life: I have globophobia.

Rushing to Google globophobia? Or are you actually reading to see if I’m going to tell you? Or maybe you suffer from it too. Doubt it.

Globophobia: the fear of balloons.

I had mentioned it in a post once before, quietly, & promised to do a post about my strange fear. That’s when I decided to Google it & discovered it got a super cool name. Saweeeeeet.

But, in all seriousness, my palms are sweating just typing out this post. I’m seriously terrified of balloons. I don’t really know how or when it all started, just as long as I can remember I’ve hated balloons. My friends used to pick on me as a kid. They’d pop a balloon close by & I’d start crying…torture, I know. But as an adult, I’ve been able to hide it pretty well. I usually don’t freak out or anything as long as they’re not too terribly close or as long as another person isn’t physically touching them. I can’t stand the sound they make when someone touches them. Also, its only the latex ones, not the shiny ones.

Typically, around the time of my birthday, I remind coworkers & family members that I do not like balloons so please do not get me any & I like to avoid Party City at all costs. That’s mostly how I deal with the fear. However, if I’m ever caught off-guard, I will run. This past September while visiting Cancun, I was caught off-guard while we were watching a show. I didn’t know balloons would be involved & as soon as I saw the bag of balloons being pulled out I looked at J-Bird & he just nodded. I took off. I didn’t go back into that room for nearly an hour I was so freaked.

So, I live everyday with the fear of balloons, aka globophobia. I’ve also discovered that lots of people have this fear, supposedly. I swear, they should feature me on the MTV show True Life. I’d make a terrific story. Wayyy better than someone that can’t please their parents.

Do any of you have some super cool fears you’d like to share? Any have cool names?!


Its like taking a chain letter to a whole new level of chain letterness.

I got tagged to answer some questions by one of my favorite other bloggers, Mooselicker, here on this post. I’ve decided to break all the rules of the initial post & just answer the 11 questions. Cuz that’s what I do. Break rules. Enjoy.

1. When you were a child, what did you want to be when you grew up? What did you think you would become? A meteorologist. When I realized I was bad at both math & science, I gave up on that dream & started pursuing happiness.

2. Who is your biggest celebrity crush? Easy! Rupert Grint.

3. Angels, Bigfoots, or Aliens; which one do you think is most likely to exist? Bigfoot. C’mon I know you guys have seen that show Finding Bigfoot. That shits real.

4. What is something that everybody seems to enjoy that you hate? Adele. Already covered that one.

5. If you opened your front door and I was there, what would you say? What would you really be thinking?
AHHH!! Why is there a stranger at my door!? You’re not the mailman! Because I don’t know what you look like.

6. What is your favorite movie and why? I have lots. Maybe I’ll do a post about them. If I had to pick one, though, it’d be Alice in Wonderland (the newest one). Terrific acting, soundtrack, & wardrobe.

7. There has to be something that you believe you’re the best at, what is it? Finding bargains.

8. Who is the ugliest person you know and why are they so ugly? I ain’t gonna call anyone out by name now, but…

9. Is love unconditional? Depends.

10. Lots of people have addictions. What is yours? Cheesy TV shows. And my hair.

11. What is the nicest compliment you have ever received? What is something that you would like to be complimented more about you? I really appreciate when people compliment my artwork & I would love it if people would compliment it more (Just replace the word “compliment” with “buy”).


Never trust a woman with a fake southern accent.

1938. That’s when the house we live in was built. Old. Vintage if you want to spice it up, make it sound fantastically interesting. No matter how you put it, it adds up to one thing for me: a pain in my butt.

Since moving here a mere 4 months ago we’ve had to already deal with minor issues & repairs as well as major ones (see the post about Mexicans & the heating/cooling unit). Yesterday, of course, was no exception.

J-Bird & I were excited because for once we got to sleep in. He had the day off from work & I didn’t have to be at the dress shop until 4. We had big plans to make breakfast together, but upon entering the kitchen, we got dripped on. Just so you know, getting dripped on in any section of your house is NEVER a good sign. Looking up we found that the ceiling looked like it was about to cave in & the room above that ceiling would be (our one & only) bathroom. Panic ensued.

I quickly dialed a plumber as J-bird tore the secret hiding door (that hides the plumbing) behind out dresser apart. The young lady that answered the phone at the plumber? She had a fake southern accent. Yea. Her name was Mohammed or something, she was not from around here & I immediately didn’t trust her. I explained our problem. She responded with, Oh my! That sounds like a terruble situation ta be in! I’ll need tha owner of tha house to call in, though. I hate my life.

After my father in law had set us up an appointment, the plumber arrived a mere 45 minutes later, claiming we were on the “emergency list”. Terrific. The plumber then proceeded to offend me. You see, we’d had a little snow & ice the evening before (the first of this winter & everyone in NC trips out over winter weather anyway) making the roads slightly slushy early that morning. By 10 am, everything was dry. As the plumber is making small talk with me, he asked me if classes were called off. Scowling, I answer, I wouldn’t know, I’m not a student. I then realize I only made myself look bad because his next remark is, Well I suppose work was called off then? Alright. I’m about to go over & rip his gold earring right out of his ear. Even the plumber thinks I’m a loser? Well, shit.

The plumber figures out there’s not much he can do to fix our situation in the end. Our shower is so…vintage…that he doesn’t know if he can find the proper parts to fix one leak. He temporarily fixed it. The other leak (yes, there’s not one, but two happening), we’ll have to take care of ourselves with some sort of plastic thing from Lowe’s. I don’t know. All I know is that J-Bird is excited about our trip to Lowe’s this evening.

Oh, did I mention we’re looking for a new place to live?


Haters gonna hate.

I may lose a few of you over saying this, but I’m gonna go there. Why? Because that’s what I do. I give my opinion. Even when it goes against everything everyone else believes in. You ready for this wild woman statement? Let’s hope so.

I hate Adele. Yes, as in Adele, the freaking british singer.

I hate her music. I guess her voice is ok, I mean, I can’t sing that great so whatevs. But I don’t like any of her songs. At this point, I don’t even care what they’re about, I just don’t like them. The rhythm, her voice…everything just simply sucks for me.

The radio over plays them like crazy. 3 of my favorite radio stations were all playing her songs at the same time the other day (just not all the same song). It’s all a bit much, don’t you think?

There’s also rumors floating around that she’s going to take 5 years off to focus on her personal life…hello? She’s not famous enough to do that. She’d be ending her career. But what do I care? I don’t even like her so go right ahead & step down at the height of your success, dummy.

The only thing I can’t complain about is the way she looks. She is quite pretty & I have nothing to say against the way the looks.

Until next time…


I realized as I walked down the sidewalk, I was not driving my car.

My day has been unglamorous. It all started late last night with the rash from hell that started appearing in random spots all over my body making it impossible for me to sleep. Red spots, itchy, scratch, bleed, cry, scab. Yes, that was my entire night routine. You see, when I do not get enough sleep, I’m prone to migraines, as my migraine meds do not have the chance to work properly.

That’s when things like today happen. When you think you hit rock bottom you realize you hit a boulder & rolled off only to fall further down. Alright, fine, you caught me, I’m being over dramatic. Maybe. I did have a rough day.

Work at the dress shop started out relatively normal, we were really busy for a Friday, but nothing I couldn’t handle. Then my least favorite manager entered. I can usually play it cool, have thick skin, whatever, but today, she yelled at me & I lost it. I went to find my other manager (technically the assistant) & burst out in tears in the break room. Something you should know about me? I am certainly not a crier. Especially not in front of people. Between sniffles I told her that I wasn’t quitting because that wasn’t the kind of person I was, but that I needed to go home.

Once I arrived home, I walked & walked all around our block to clear my mind. I really have to figure out where I’m going with my life. I then almost had a meltdown because I thought someone had taken my parking spot at my house to realize that it was MY car in my parking spot, as I was walking not driving.

Off to locate my mind & take an oatmeal bath to relieve the itching.


A day long double date & banana spring rolls, oh my.

J-Bird & I don’t make friends easily. I’ve made this clear in earlier posts about myself, but its even harder if you’re trying to make friends as a couple. You know? Finding another couple mildly similar to us to hang out with that can stand us for more than 5 minutes. Introducing Haley & Justin. They’re our couple. Our best friend couple. We met them about a year ago living on the other side of the state.

Thing is, J-Bird & I moved about 4 months ago. Today was the first time we’d gotten to see Haley & Justin since the big move. The 4 of us made big plans, all had to request today off…so we made a huge deal of it & made a day date of it. We met in the middle of the state, J-bird & I driving an hour and a half to see them…all the while J-Bird nodding off or lecturing me about how I have two kinds of singing: 1. the kind where I try to sing really bad or 2. the kind where I try to sing good & it sounds alright. You’d think he’d be used to me singing in the car by now, duh.

We ended up eating lunch & going shopping with Haley & Justin for a while at the nearby mall, then going to see The Vow. Which, I thought might end up on my “Ugly Cry” list, but no. Just no. I was really disappointed by the choppy storyline & the tension between it trying to be about a love story or about Rachel McAdams’ character finding out who she really is. Have any of you seen the movie? Thoughts?

We ended the day long double date with dinner at P.F. Chang’s, which I had only been to one other time. The food was pretty good, the service was terrific, but the highlight of the meal (& potentially the day) was the dessert. OMFG. J-Bird & I ordered the banana spring rolls to share…it was like I had fallen in love all over again & gone to heaven. Pineapple ice cream, bananas, various fruits, drizzled with caramel. No joke…please go to your nearest P.F. Chang’s & order this dessert like now.

Saying goodbye to our best friend couple was hard, actually. As you can see we basically have to stop earth from spinning to get to see them so we don’t know when that’ll happen again, but today turned out to be a terrific day.


I’m totally cheating on my job…

I’ve been looking for other jobs. As a lot of you may know, I work at a dress shop. I’m looking for other jobs for lots of reasons (I’m itching to make a list, but I’ll resist the urge), but the 2 main ones being: the long commute to work & I’m only working part-time (so I need to step this up to full time).

Thus, I decided it was time to look for other jobs. Jobs that were within walking distance of my house & full time. I mean, I need the exersise & the money, so this all makes perfect sense. Over the weekend I went walking around, asking if anyone was hiring, 2 places were in the shopping center I was looking in to.

I scored an interview today with both places. I’ve already declined a job with the first place, as they offered me a part time job for less than what I’m making now (I mean, I’m bad at math but dangggg), I’m waiting to hear back from the other place.

I also let the dress shop (my current job) know on Monday that I was cheating on it with other jobs. They…reacted ok. Slightly unhappy to hear that I may be leaving I was simply told to keep them posted & be sure to give a 2 weeks notice. Switching jobs is tough, but I feel like I’m moving (generally) in the right direction.

I’ll keep you guys posted on the status of my job search.


I’ve been shot by cupid…oh, wait, that was just my doctor.

I’ve been getting treatments once a month for some time now over an ahem…medical condition that requires a shot in the butt. 3 shots to be exact. It just so happens that this month’s treatment fell on V-day, thus my morning is already off to an eventful start.

I got up bright & early, actually, scratch the bright because it was still dark out when I got up. I wanted to make sure I was nice & clean if a doctor was going to be looking at my nether regions this morning. Not that he probably judges, as I have the medical conditions of an 85 year old woman, so that’s probably what he sees throughout the day. At least, that’s what I tell myself to make it all better.

Nonetheless, I arrived at the doctor’s office 3 mintues early, signed in & started watching The Weather Channel on the nice big screen TV. They had a cheesy animated cupid floating around, mocking me. How fitting.

When the nurse called me back, she walked me down the long hallway & put me in the exam room with the comment, I’m sure you know what to do by now, Mrs. Grimes. I nodded. I pulled my pants down to my knees, sighed, & laid down on the exam chair, covering my bottom half with the giant see-through paper towel that they give you.

Then, the waiting game. It felt like forever, but in reality it was only like 5 minutes. I stared around the room. Green textured wallpaper. Ugly. Stacks of latex gloves in every size humanly possible. Soap with the brand name Enhance. Weird. Conversations from the next room over. Wow, that guy’s worse off than me. Momentarily feeling better. Then, a knock at the door with a preggo nurse & my doctor.

The shots themselves aren’t painful, mildly uncomfortable, but I chatted with the doctor about how clumsy I normally am (wtf?), then he told me this would be my last visit. Excitement. No more shots. He said I got to graduate today! Yay!

So, there you have it. My already eventful morning of getting shot by cupid my doctor.