Monthly Archives: May 2012

Vacation Part 1: I think I robbed an Indian man.

Our mini-vacation was…an adventure to say the least. I’m splitting it up into 2 (or 3) posts to keep you guys coming back for more. Let me start a few months ago when I found the deal on Travelocity with their “secret” rooms. If you’ve never shopped with them, secret rooms are hotel rooms you can get really cheap but the catch is they don’t tell you where you’re going to be staying. I suppose it was a risk I was willing to take, I knew by the end of May J-Bird & I would want to take a few days off & go to the beach.

So Tuesday we packed up the car pumped & ready to get to the beach. 2 and a half hours later we were checking in to a Travelodge, which happened to be the room Travelocity booked us with their secret stinking room. Upon opening the door to room 238, the smell hit us like a brick wall. I’m pretty sure strippers & drug dealers were in this room the evening before we arrived. We figured we’d already paid for it, the money was non-refundable, perhaps we could just stick it out.

Upon further inspection, I found what may or may not have been puke on the carpet by the bed. Disgusted, I lifted up the comforter to see something brown splattered (blood? had a drug deal gone bad?) all up the side of the bed. This marked meltdown number 1. I screamed. J-Bird started Googling other hotels in the area.

As J-Bird found another hotel & packed the room up, I went to turn our room keys in & complain. As I approached the lobby I tried to remind myself not to be rude to the tiny Indian man who stood behind the counter. I put the keys down and sternly said We will not be staying in your hotel this evening. He, of course started asking about the room’s cleanliness & if we would like a new room. No, sir. The carpet is disgusting. It smells horrible. We’re just going somewhere else. Thanks anyway.

What happened next is where things get fuzzy. He started handing me cash. Out of the register. Now, our room was supposed to be non-refundable, so I’m not sure why he was handing me money. Also, just pointing out, but we paid $80 for the room, in the end, he gave me $67. I don’t know how this worked out, but I’m pretty sure I robbed the guy. The worst part? I was so mad, I took the money.

I ran to the car & screamed to J-Bird to get in because I had just robbed the owner of the hotel. We freaked out & drove away.

10 minutes later we were checking into a Days Inn which was much much better. We then had to make the tough decision of whether we wanted to go to the beach or just stay in the room. Stay tuned for part 2 tomorrow to see where we ended up & how we may have accidentally robbed a girl later that night.

BrennaG.

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Thankfully, I’m not 12 or 85 but my bathing suit wants me to be.

The 2 things on this planet I hate shopping for the most? bathing suits & jeans. Ick. Lately I’ve tackled bathing suit shopping, but all too soon, probably this fall I fear I will have to go jean shopping. Sigh.

Let’s see. I think in the past 2 days I’ve tried on like 300 bathing suits. Who? Me? Exaggerate? Nah. Seriously though. I feel like I’m at that awkward age/body type where I need to wear a one piece. Now, not everyone surrounding me agrees with this decision but I’m going to do what makes me feel the most sexy so I want to exclusively wear one pieces.

Turns out one pieces are hard to come by. Either I should be a pre-teen or my grandmother. In case you hadn’t noticed, I’m neither. Also, there’s (of course!) price to take in to consideration. I wanted to keep it under $40. What? You think I’m a cheapskate? I think I’m a bargain shopper.

After stomping out of Khol’s, trying on everything in stock at JCP & yelling at the manager of TJMaxx, I finally purchased a cute number from Old Navy. Now, I think it should be noted that I’ve only been in Old Navy two other times in my entire life. But, nonetheless, its adorable, I look good in it, & I got it for $31…so under budget!!

Now, to break the news to you guys of why I needed a new bathing suit. J-Bird & I will be on VK this week at the beach. Sorry. This will be my only new post this week, guys. Don’t go having Brenna withdrawals or anything on me. I’ll be back next weekend with stories of sunburns and J-Bird getting on my nerves, I’m sure.

BrennaG.

It sounded like I had a goose sitting on my handle bars.

Yesterday J-Bird & I went on our first bike ride together in almost 3 years. That, my bloggy friends, is exciting.

Pinky needs some work, which we knew. She’s almost as old as I am. In bike years, that’s like 42. She’s getting ready to hit menopause for pete’s sake. We started out having to pump air in her tires (of course). Which, for the record, I hate the sound of. Reminds me of balloons too much. So I made J-Bird go out on the porch to do it out of earshot.

I’m not gonna lie to you guys, the first few minutes on Pinky were terrifying. I was so wobbly & nervous (well, we lowered the seat almost as low as it would go & my feet would still barely reach the ground, I’m sort-of vertically challenged), but as soon as we got out on the road & the wind started whipping through my hair, I was fine.

Until I had to hit the brakes, that is. We’re pretty sure that Pinky needs some new brakes, as it sounded like I had a goose sitting on my handle bars honking at all the innocent people.

We did discover a park we’d never seen only a few blocks over from us, with this cool boulder climbing rock thing. Which, of course, we stopped to climb. Or should I say, we stopped to I could watch & laugh as J-Bird climbed. What? I wasn’t wearing the proper shoes. Everyone knows you have to wear cute sandals to go bike riding. Duh.

I’m super excited about our next adventure on our bikes, the only downside? My tush really hurts from riding. J-Bird says this never happens to him, but if I ride more than a few minutes, it happens to me every time. Seriously, I had to sit on a pillow just to put my make-up on this morning. This is the only day that I’ve ever been excited about having to stand at work. My tush totally hates me right now.

BrennaG.

She’s old, rusty & crusty but she’s my best friend, Pinky.

If you guys have been following my blog for awhile, you remember Pinky, my beloved turquoise bike. If you’re new around this neck of the woods, then Pinky deserves a little back story, so do yourself a favor & click here.

Now, most of you are probably wondering why I’m bringing Pinky back up. Well you see, after college, I moved to a not-so-bike friendly city & gave the bike back to its rightful owner, my mother in law. Its been in her possession ever since.

Last week, J-Bird & I got to talking & realized we live in a more bike friendly city now, so we should be out bike riding! Besides, I need the exercise. Yea, yea I know, me? Exercise? More like pant around the block.

Anyway, I can’t really afford a new bike so I thought of my old best friend, Pinky. So we called up my mother in law to see if she’d be willing to sell me my best friend back. Which sounds way worse when taken out of context.

I’m happy to report that Pinky & I have been reunited. Forever. Sure she’s old, rusty & crusty, but nowadays that’s known as vintage & that shit is cool.

Oh! I also snapped some photos of the lovely Pinky, so you guys can be jelly.

BrennaG.

I’ll kill a bitch over a curvy straw.

Yea that’s right. You guys better sleep with one eye open. I have my eyes set on the unlucky culprit: Lucky Charms. Yea, yea, yea. They thought they were lucky until they came across BrennaG.

It all started a few weeks ago with me jumping up & down embarrassing J-Bird in the cereal aisle (which is what I’m really good at). I was excited because my favorite cereal, Lucky Charms, promised in this limited edition box, a curvy straw. I hugged the box as I pointed to the bright colorful text & tossed it in the cart. J-Bird rolled his eyes & acted like he didn’t know me. Typical.

Anyway, I just now (as in today) got around to opening my box of cereal because I had another box I had to finish first. J-Bird has a one-box-at-a-time rule set for me.

I dug all around the box for my curvy straw. No straw there. I jerked the bag of cereal out. Shook the box. Dug my hand all around in the cereal. No effing straw. I want my straw.

I sent a not-so-nice email to General Mills. I better get my curvy straw in the mail.

BrennaG.

I don’t need an interview unless its for professional time waster. Or creeper.

So, today was an interesting day. Well, that’s not really surprising living in my shoes, but nonetheless, strange. I drove a couple of towns over for an interview to be an intern at a photography studio.

I think the interview went well. I always do freakishly well at interviews, which is bizarre because I typically just wing it. I’m going to turn them down if I get offered the internship, though. It sounds too officy for me & like I wouldn’t learn jack shit. Figures.

I was already pretty close to the dress shop so I didn’t want to waste the gas to drive all the way back home, but I had 4 hours to kill before I had to be at work. Yea, you read that right, 4 whopping hours. I didn’t have a clue what the hell I was going to do.

I ended up at a pretty big mall, then went to a movie theater. I realized I’d never seen a movie by myself. Eh. Time to try that out today. Even though I’m not a big Zac Efron fan, I went to see The Lucky One, which actually turned out to be pretty alright. There were only 3 other creepers in the theater: a chick in daisy dukes, an Asian lady that wouldn’t stop crying & a huge bald guy. I was by far the most normal looking one there, even in my nice business attire.

I then took a slow, long walk to the mall food court to stuff my face. Whatever. I had time to kill. I wondered around for a while to take samples from all the Asian restaurants even though I had no intention of eating at any of them. Hey, now, I know you guys do that too. It doesn’t make me a bad person.

After lunch, I lurked around Nordstrom to steal their wi-fi (why the hell does a department store need wi-fi?!).

Then, due to my lack of sense of direction, I couldn’t find a bathroom, so I drove to the dress shop to use theirs. Oh well, they already know I’m craycray. They spend most days with me.

BrennaG.

Camel cricket & camel toe: both ugly but completely harmless.

As summer quickly approaches, out come the creepy crawlers that lurk in the darkness of the Amityville house. Granted, we expected this to happen.

Our washer & dryer are both down in the basement (which is unfinished) so I have to make regular trips down there to do laundry. I always make J-Bird go with me because its dark (duh) & it smells funny. And, it’s potentially haunted.

3 nights ago, however, we figured out exactly what was haunting our basement. The camel cricket. An evil, spider looking creeper that lurks in the dark waiting to pounce on your pants leg at any given moment. Terrifying. I’d have rather it been a ghost.

Thing is, there’s not just one or two (um…we never get that lucky, guys) there’s like a hundred down there. It’s yet another infestation. Go figure. They’re huge. Well some of them. I also noticed these tiny little black dots & when I got really close in to the floor I realized they were baby camel crickets. I ran straight up the freaking stairs & out the front door screaming. No wonder none of my neighbors ever ask us for sugar.

Anyway, I have no clue what we’re doing about the camel crickets. Suggestions appreciated. Also, photo is courtesy of J-Bird. You guys know I sure as hell didn’t get that close to those nasty suckers.

BrennaG.

This is my ghetto version of getting a pet bunny.

There’s a bunny living in my yard. I’ve seen her sitting on my porch & outside my window, so I know she loves me dearly.

Today I decided to name her Apple-Anna. I chased her around the yard trying to snap a few pictures, but she’s a bit faster than I am, then she disappeared & I think I may have gotten poison ivy on my foot…

Anyway, we’re best friends now & she eats my grass for me, so I have no reason to attack my yard with scissors!

BrennaG.

I’m giving the universe the stink eye right now.

I suppose we all have them. Bad days, I mean. Today has been one of those days. I could kind of feel it as I got out of bed this morning, that feeling that I tried to shake as I showered & got ready, but it never quite went away.

The rain & clouds doesn’t help, either.

Nor does this yucky Amendment 1 politics talk here in North Carolina.

It all left a bad taste in my mouth this morning. Oh, no, wait. That was just my new mouthwash. Nevermind then.

Things were nuts over at the dress shop, as usual. I had rude people running out my ears. Not literally or my day would have been a lot worse, I imagine. Actually, I ended up getting sent home early because I got really stressed out because this lady wouldn’t stop yelling at me on the phone & I had to leave the sales floor. I broke the number one rule: I lost my cool. I stopped smiling.

I suppose we all have our breaking point, though.

I’m trying not to let that bother me, though. We’re having soup for dindins (perfect for a rainy day) & I just sang along to the JGWentworth commercial, which is always a joy.

I’ve decided to start the week over tomorrow…

BrennaG

Java Monster + Sketch Convienient Store = Death

I know, I know. In my last post I said I’d see you guys on Monday. It’s Tuesday. No, believe it or not, I did not get my days confused (yet) (this week). I was really bad sick yesterday though. I potentially had some sort of food/drink poisoning. Never, ever down a Java Monster in 30 minutes from a totally sketch convenient store if its the last one on the shelf. You’re welcome for that wise advice.

Anyway, this weekend was crazy awesome. We drove a few towns over on Sunday (2 hours away, I gave J-Bird a car concert the entire way, love you honey) for an art show & to see some family & friends we hadn’t seen in forever.

We visited with my mom & cousin for the first part of the day, which by the way, if you think I’m nuts, my mom is ten times nuttier. Ah, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. When we get together we’re like two very embarrassing peas in a pod for J-Bird. My cousin, Natalie, is my favorite, normal family member (on my side anyway) so its always a joy to see her.

We also met up with our favorite double date couple Haley & Justin for dindins. After that is when we drove home & I got sick & almost died. I’m feeling a little better today, butttttttttttt not much.

Oh, yes. A shout out to my best friend Bernard for graduating on Friday!! Congrats!

So, there’s my weekend in a nutshell. Hope everyone else had a terrific weekend/weekbeginning.

BrennaG.