Monthly Archives: April 2012

This is the most legit way to pick a place to live.

Over the past week or so, J-Bird & I have started looking for a place to move to since a lot of college students are moving out of their apartments this time of year. Also, around this time of year, a lot of apartment complexes in this area are running specials since students don’t usually stay over the summer so they need to fill up with other people. We’re wanting to move out of the Amityville house because of how many problems we’ve had & we hate our roommate.

Anyway, J-Bird doesn’t know it yet because he’s at work today, but we’re going to see an apartment this evening. I’m super excited about this particular place, but the original reason I chose it was because it was apartment 303.

Yea. Like after my favorite band. Because apparently, I think that’s a totally legit way to pick a place to call home.

Happy Monday.

BrennaG.

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Prom & the fruity boy.

‘Tis the season for prom over at the dress shop I work at. Technically speaking, prom season started a couple months back, but of course, every little high school girl in this area has waited until the last-minute. Poor kids. All the good dresses are already picked over at this point, so I guess they’re gonna end up in either that lilac princess cut or the neon one with most of the midsection cut out, but I digress.

I remember my Junior prom all too well. Unfortunately. My best friend at the time, Kathleen, was in a mildly serious relationship with this boy so I knew they were going to prom together. That meant I was expected to get a date so we could double date for prom. Thing is, the only guy that asked me I didn’t want to go with. His name was Fred Berry, he had bright red hair & he may or may not have been missing a few teeth. I turned him down. Six times.

I went ahead & purchased a sassy prom dress with the intentions of finding a date. My dress was a spaghetti strap, mermaid cut, lime green number with a mesh cut out at the midriff. Whatever. I weighed 40 pounds less then. It was hot.

Months went by. I asked guy friends of mine. They already had dates. Kathleen attempted to set me up. Nothing worked. One week before prom I still didn’t have a date. I didn’t want to be the third wheel. Looks like I was going to have to do the unthinkable: ask Fred to prom.

He was pumped, of course. He took me to a crappy restaurant & I paid for my own meal. He insisted we get to prom an hour early to take pictures that I later found out he expected me to pay for. He wanted me to dance with him on every single song. He topped the charts as one of my worst dates ever.

I ended up leaving early with Kathleen & her boy toy to go bowling. We had a blast. Perhaps three isn’t a crowd.

BrennaG.

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.

Not true. But lots of college students do pass through my yard due to it being a corner lot. Because of this strange walk-thru effect, I’ve heard stories that this yard has never, ever had any grass.

Until of course when we moved in.

Now we have sprig-like kind of grass growing in spots. Like, some of the sprigs are so tall they reach up to my hips. Now, granted that isn’t saying too much being that I’m only 5’3, but still.

I told J-Bird the other day that it was time we do something about the yard. Its getting to look a little jungley out there. He suggested a lawn mower. I don’t know where he thought we were going to get one of those from, but no. Also, we’d look completely dumb trying to use a lawn mower on such small patches of grass.

I suggested (duh) the obvious: a weed eater. He said that was also a dumb idea & he didn’t know where we’d find one of those at either. I told him that anyone over the age of 30 should own a weed eater, so it shouldn’t be that hard. I really don’t know why he’s making things complicated.

I think we’re going to end up going out there with a pair of scissors, which currently is the only solution we’ve both semi agreed on. I mean, sure its ghetto, but if we do it at night no one will ever know. The neighbors will just think fairies came in the middle of the night to make the yard beautiful. That’s what we thought for the longest time about the lady across the street. Until we saw her hoarding Mexicans one day.

I mean, it wouldn’t be that bad, would it?

BrennaG.

Tenacious D, the frog of destiny

Friday night as I was locking up the dress shop I noticed 2 beady eyes staring up at me, so I screamed (duh). Turned out, those beady eyes weren’t a flesh-eating vampire bug, but instead, a green tree frog. Heading back inside, I shouted to the girls that were closing with me Who wants to catch a frog for my husband?

I work with all women. Girly-girl women. So I figured the response would be screams & giggles, but much to my surprise, 10 seconds later we had a shoebox with holes punched in it & gloves & we were catching ourselves a frog. Screams & giggles were now in order as the frog jumped onto the glass door. We caught him! Oh…nope, back on the door. We were all running around trying to get the darn thing in the box. 15 minutes, 4 employees, 1 customer later we had the frog & I was on the phone with J-Bird telling him I had a surprise for him.

I brought him home to an excited J-Bird, but ultimately, we decided not to keep Tenacious D. We decided he belonged in the wild with his other totally rad frog friends. I (of course) snapped a photo before we set him loose.

BrennaG.

Midget shotgunner on the stairs!

I hope I didn’t offend anyone with the title, I, of course, am referring to playing video games with J-Bird. I yelled this at him this morning while we were playing my favorite video game, Borderlands. I’m a super big spaz when I play video games. Especially ones where I’m expected to shoot things. I scream, wiggle & die a lot. Needless to say, I’m terrible at them. But, J-Bird still likes playing with me.

I made the comment that I should learn to use the PS3 on my own (I mean, duh, I am computer smart. I own a Mac.) so that I could play when I have friends over. I don’t usually use any electronics or the stove if J-Bird isn’t home. I’m too clumzy & I tend to panic too easily. You realize only 2 people can play at a time? J-Bird responded rationally. I nodded. I only have one friend, so that’s ok.

The one friend thing is only sort of true. I do have trouble making friends as an adult, so most of the “friends” I have as of right now are people I work with & I would only consider them acquaintances. My best friend is Bernard whom I met in college (I think my sophomore year) in biology class. Outside of J-Bird, he’s the friend I talk to the most. Unfortunately, he also lives 2 hours away, so the most hanging out we can do is on Skype, so I still need a good video game buddy that won’t make fun of me when I’m shooting at a rock because I think its trying to attack me.

Maybe I should just stick to board games.

BrennaG.

I’m sure the other people walking were making fun of me.

The weather here in NC has been beautiful (& teetering on HOT for the past few days, not gonna lie), so for the past 2 mornings, I’ve went out to take pictures. We are lucky enough to live near a rose garden & no matter where I start out walking to, I always end up there.

Upon landing in the rose garden yesterday morning, I was delighted to see that some of the roses were starting to bloom! I ended up spending most of my morning down there, wandering around, taking photos & just being in my own little world. Which is quite unusual for me, I typically hate being alone. Maybe being alone isn’t so bad, though, no one to make fun of me (to my face anyway) for running from the bees. Or getting my flip-flop stuck in the mulch. Or spinning in circles when I run into a spider web. Perhaps I should stop there & share some of my fairytale like morning with you all.

BrennaG.

Willie Wonka & the Mad Hatter

I woke up this morning with a crazy bad migraine. This weekend was long. By long, I mean bad. By bad I mean I laid on my new couch all weekend & watched movies & Long Island Medium & Leave it to Niecy. I applied to be a freaking pet sitter over the summer. I considered applying to be a nude model, but I don’t tan well & I don’t shave my legs on the reg.

We went to the grocery store yesterday trying to find foods that I like & that I will actually eat. You see, my migraine meds make it tough for me to have an appetite. So by the time we got to the check out, I looked like a pregnant woman. Not in that I was fat, but in my food choices because J-Bird basically just let me grab whatever looked good. Which ended up consisting of a jar of pineapple chunks, tons of yogurt, dried mango, frozen dinners & Gatorade. I’ve lost 20 pounds since August due to these meds & I really need to maintain the weight I’m currently at. Its tough & causes me a ton of anxiety. Which causes me migraines. Sigh.

When I drove J-Bird to work this morning wearing sweatpants, a tie-dye t-shirt, sweater shoes and my crush velvet blazer that makes me look like a cross between Willie Wonka & the Mad Hatter I decided it was time. Not only time to get my shit together, but time to see a therapist.

It’s a big step for someone who never admits she’s wrong. Alright, sometimes I admit I’m wrong, but I never admit to character flaws. I’m just flamboyant.

So, here’s to hoping this helps & to getting that pet sitter gig. Off to eat my pineapple chunks.

BrennaG.

Let’s do a little time travel on here today, eh?

My obsession with Titanic started maybe 15 years ago when I was just a wee little one. I don’t remember quite how I first found out about it, probably in a book or by my mom going Yea there was some big ship that sank & lots of people died a long time ago. Anyway, I was forever intrigued. I saw the movie as soon as it came out (yea, yea, I know) & not even for the love story. Just for THE story.

As many of you probably know, today marks the 100th anniversary of Titanic hitting the iceberg. April 14, 1912 at approx. 11:40 pm (according to Wiki, guys) is when it all started. Or I suppose some say it started way before that. That’s not for me to debate here, now. At just 2:20 am on April 15, 1912 the Titanic was sinking deep into the ocean, but not soon to be forgotten.

I guess I’m so fascinated by the whole thing because I can’t even begin to wrap my head around the events that transpired that evening. I’m terrified of going under water so I can’t imagine how it’d feel to be on a sinking ship (I’d only assume I’d be part of 3rd class, the people who didn’t even have a chance). 1,517 people died that night (also from Wiki, see link above). I can’t imagine what it’d feel like to freeze to death in water at 28 °F. Seriously?! I freak out if the temperature outside is colder than 55 °F.

There’s also been a lot of interest stirred since the ship sank. Expeditions leading to photos/videos of the sunken ship. Controversy over how exactly the ship sunk & whether or not artifacts should be removed have all kept Titanic alive & in the news for the past 100 years. I don’t foresee that Titanic will be going anywhere anytime soon, either. I think people will continue with their interest in the unsinkable ship & need to know more information about it with each new controversy/conspiracy that comes to light.

Anyway, I’ve been to Titanic museums, read books, seen documentaries, written papers & done art projects on Titanic. I can’t help it. I can’t get enough. If you, too, want to continue reading, here are some links:

RMS Titanic

Buy Me a Present Here

Retrieval of Artifacts: To do or not to do?

If you want something to watch on TV tomorrow night, check out the History Channel, they have a special coming on called Titanic at 100: Mystery Solved (8 pm eastern time).

Have a good weekend!

BrennaG.

My new couch is like a tropical paradise.

You probably guessed it. My first (of probably many) blog posts from my spot on the new couch. I’m so bubbly with excitement you’d think I was blogging from my beach chair in the Bahamas whilst drinking my pina colada. Nope. That thing under my butt is just my new couch & that mug in my hand is just my coffee. And not even with my french vanilla coffee creamer might I add. I ran out this morning so I had to use J-Bird’s lactose free milk.

We’re rearranging the living room entire downstairs to accommodate the new couch, so I’m excited to see what this place is going to look like in a few days when we’re done.

Just to give you guys a real life play-by-play, J-Bird just sat on the chaise lounge portion of the couch & said, Oh my! My legs are comfy! This is a new experience.

I can see this couch is going to be good for our relationship.

BrennaG.

I want the views, but you guys are freaking me out.

Guys, no joke, the stuff that pops up on my “Top Searches” creeps me the hell out. Actually I wish WordPress would just get rid of that feature all together. I could do without it. I really don’t need to know what people are typing into the search bar that leads them here, to this lovely paradise.

Lately the most searched phrase in my top searches is “my dad had sex with me”. Alright, guys. Let’s be clear here. I DID NOT do a post about that. I did a post a couple weeks back about the sex talk with my pops. Just sayin’. And if you’re struggling with your dad having sex with you, please, go tell the cops. Or your therapist. Or your mother. Or someone other than WordPress. Kthanks.

Also, globophobia gets searched all the time! Freaking nuts! Apparently everyone is scared of balloons. Like we should have a national globophobia day with a festival & shit. It’d be great. No balloons required. Just lots of funnel cakes.

Who’s with me on getting National Globophobia Day started?!

Also, watch what you search, I’m watching you.

BrennaG.