Tag Archives: college

Maybe I’ll just throw the organic mustard at her.

Not one, but two. In certain cases two can be better than one. Eyes, ears, bathrooms, pant legs, shoes, earrings, scoops of ice cream. In this case, however two is not better than one.

Roommates. That’s what I’m referring to. Our two roommates moved in this past week. Alice & Mei. It’s been an interesting week.

I’m already so fed up I’m ready to move out. Like on the street if I have to. Which might be what’s going to need to happen. Let’s get a rundown of what all has happened so far to drive me to wanting to rip my hair out.

A little background info is in order. J-Bird & I live in one side of the house, the downstairs is mostly a sitting/living room area for us, then we have the upstairs portion of the house as well which includes our art room, bedroom & guest room. We share the kitchen & basement with the roommates. They live in the backside of the house.

First, Mei cleaned out the microwave. I don’t know why, but this really bothered me. Microwaves are supposed to be dirty. Duh. You explode your food in them. That’s just how it happens.

She also only eats organic food. Psh. Who can afford that? Organic mustard? What the hell is that?

Alice put her food in our cabinets in the kitchen even though there’s empty space right below those cabinets. I don’t like it when my food mingles with my roommate’s food. Not cool. She also put her pots & pans with ours. Again…we left cabinets empty specifically for her to use. Maybe she’s blind.

But here’s the icing on the cake. This evening I’m upstairs writing this blog post when J-Bird comes upstairs with his angry face on. She’s in our side of the house, he grumbled. Raised eyebrows I reply with, What do you mean? Like she crossed over? Like stepped to our side? He sighed. Yea, Alice came in, sat down on our couch with her cell phone, and said hello to me. Confused, I stared for a second before saying, What do we do? Do we kick her out? Let her stay? Make her pay our rent? He shrugged.

As of right now, she headed back to “her side”, but she left a book & cell phone on “our side”. Apparently she doesn’t know the difference though. Looks like there’s about to be a throw-down in the Amityville house this fine evening.



All I know is that I have absolutely nothing figured out. And I hate those that do.

I’m going to go ahead & admit that I’m completely jealous of the couples that are my age that have it all together. How exactly did I end up living in the Amityville house working only part-time with a shower that doesn’t work & sitting in the floor? I’m not sure.

I’m jealous of the girl from work that got married 2 weeks ago, already purchased her house a year ago with the new hubby & they had already purchased new furniture as well. I never got those things. I don’t own a house. Most of my furniture (except my new couch that will be here next week-yay!) are cheap hand-me-downs. They’re already talking about starting a family (the only reason I know this is because of break room talk)…I can’t even afford a pet.

I don’t even speak to a good friend of mine from college because of my jealousy. I know, I know, I’m a terrible person! Judge me. But, she & I graduated together, got married less than 2 months apart, but she’s got it all figured out. She & her husband make triple what J-Bird & I make in a year, they purchased a house a couple of months ago, they look so happy, they have nice things, they each have a car, so on & so forth. J-Bird & I? Share a car. Share our house with Nick. I know, I know, I should be thankful for the things I DO have. But, then that’d be missing the point of my ranting post.

I’m jealous. I’m jealous of the people who have it together. I’m trying to pinpoint exactly where I went wrong. Was it when I decided to major in art in college? Or was it because I took 5 years instead of 4 years to graduate? Maybe it was because we moved only 2 weeks after graduating. Or maybe because I got fired from my internship a month after we moved. I could have been because we then choose to move AGAIN. Who knows at this point?

I just wish I could figure it out. Buy some furniture. Live in a nice place. Get a pet. Have a stable job making decent money. Get another car. C’mon. I’m not asking to run the freaking universe here.


My mom got me out of jury duty like a boss.

As J-Bird & I were sitting in the floor in front of the couch the other day, he commented that he’d never been called for jury duty. Oh, I have, a few years ago. But, I got out of it. I commented nonchalantly. He laughed. You can’t just get out of jury duty. You’re such a liar.

You see, he does know me pretty well. He knows that I say crazy things all the time. This time, however, I was telling the truth. Back in college, I got the dreaded jury duty letter in the mail. I called my mom (of course, duh) to complain that I was wayyy too busy to do this whole jury duty thing, I had college to do.

Growing up, my mom was always the type of mom to write a note to get my brother & I out of everything. I know what you’re thinking: we should have taken on our own problems, my mom babied us (she did), whatever whatever, go ahead & cast your judgemental stares. Anyway, my mom asked me if I wanted her to write me a note to get out of jury duty. We laughed. We both knew she was joking, but only halfway. Then, we wondered if it would actually work.

I sent her the paper work & she wrote the note to the judge explaining that I was a very busy college student & would like to be excused from jury duty. A few days later, I received a letter in the mail telling me that I was excused. I couldn’t make this shit up if I tried.

As for J-Bird, I think I’ve convinced him that they think he’s dead. Whoever they are.


A whore, a latina, a theater major, a black girl & a potentially gay guy all walk into a bar…

Oh, wait. Those are all my ex or current roommates. And there are more to come as soon as Nick moves out this summer. I decided to make you guys a list of all my past roommates (& the one current one) so you can see that I have about a 50/50 shot of getting a good roommate as my next one. You see, they haven’t all been bad. Believe it or not, I’ve actually liked a few of them. So, now, one of my favsies things, a list:

1. Dina, The Whore. I don’t normally call people mean names (ok, maybe I do), but I only call it as I see it. This chick was craycray. She was my roomie my freshman year of college. The first night in the dorms, she had let a few of her “friends” borrow her keys to come to our room to use her bed for sex…at 3 am. They stumbled in, sat on my bed (which was closest to the door) and nearly gave me a heart attack. I completely freaked out & told them to get out immediately. Other episodes include, but are not limited to: finding Dina a few doors down passed out missing her shoe, giving her endless advice on lingerie, & hearing all about the drama between boyfriend number 1 (in New York, at home) & boyfriend number 2 (in college).

2. Emilia, The Latina. Emilia moved in a mere week after Dina moved out. I didn’t know what to expect from her, but she seemed sooo much nicer than Dina I was super excited to see if we’d become friends. Thankfully, we did. In fact, we became very best friends. We went everywhere together, did everything together. We’d stay up late & gossip about boys (I was still very single & ready to mingle at the time & had my eyes set on my figure drawing model, but I’ll save that story for another blog post) & watching episodes of Sex & the City. When summer came, we went our separate ways, even crying as we said our goodbyes & unfortunately never really spoke again.

3. Melissa, The Black Girl. We lived together for a mere 2 weeks the beginning of my Sophomore year of college. I suppose I really was that bad to live with. We got along alright, hell, the night before she moved out she invited me out with pizza with her friends because my boyfriend & I had just broken up. The very next day, though, I came back from class & all her stuff was gone. Just like that. Never to be heard from again.

4. Naomi, The Theater Major. Thing is, I hate living alone, so once Melissa was gone I was on the hunt for a new roomie. 2 weeks after she’d moved out, a cool girl named Naomi came knocking at my door. She moved in the next day. Thing is, we were both artsy, so we had an understanding of each other, which was nice, but we never became good friends, which was also nice. We were just that terrific middle ground. We could go have lunch, then enjoy a quite evening in the dorm room together without feeling obligated to talk to one another. I lived with Naomi until I started dating J-Bird & moved in with him.

5. Nick, The Potentially Gay Guy. Here’s the thing. I poke fun of Nick a lot. Mostly because I do not like living with a roomie at this point in my life. I also just generally do not particularly like him. I mean, isn’t he too old for guy sleepovers at this point? And they’re always so loud. Also, just as a disclaimer, I do not actually think he is gay, nor do I have an issue with gay people. Just sayin’. He also parks his car in such a way that I can’t really get my car out because his car will not fit into his carport because of his foosball table. Yea, so there’s that. He never does his dishes & I’m pretty sure he’s gonna burn the house down one day trying to use the oven. We share the kitchen.

So, if I’m figuring this up right, the next roomie should be pretty top-notch, right? I don’t need a new freaking best friend forever. I need a decent human being that might want to have a board game night with us once a month & likes Harry Potter. Geez, is that too much to ask for?!

I’ll keep you guys posted foshizzle.


At approximately 6:32 pm today I hit rock bottom.

I hear the term “quarter life crisis” thrown around a lot. Up until about a month ago, I’d kinda laughed it off. Then it hit me, I’m 25, no real job, no job prospects, no money, no real dreams & I live with a roommate (& my husband). SHIT. Here it is. My very own quarter life crisis. No, I didn’t ask for it. Much like a mid-life crisis, I never wanted the frustration, anxiety, pity & overall crappiness that comes along with it. Nope, never thought it’d turn out this way.

In fact, had you asked me 2 years ago where I’d be right now, I’d have been like rollin’ in dough with a terrific graphic design job in a really effing tall building, surely living in some super awesome apartment with a snazzy furniture, 2 cats, a dog & a bunny. Yea, I know, dream big, right?

But, alas that’s not exactly where I ended up. The economy went in the crapper & I’ve been kinda floating since then. Stuck in limbo, if you will. Not sure where to go next. I continue my job hunt, sort-of, when my motivation allows. Otherwise, up until this fine evening I had been content with working at the dress shop. Tonight my manager yelled at me like usual, I went unappreciated, like usual & then I hit rock bottom. I didn’t quit or anything, just starting to realize I need to pull myself together to pursue other jobs. Maybe. If I can find the motivation.

I think a lot of people my age are experiencing this so-called quarter life crisis (QLC-yea, came up with that just there on the spot, whuttup). Much of anyone that’s had the pleasure of graduating anytime in the past 2ish years has probably gone through some form of the QLC. I just hope it doesn’t last much longer because I have tons of things I need to get done before my mid-life crisis comes around.

J-Bird suggested I end this post with asswaffles. You’re welcome, honey.


I think I’m on the verge of being an anti social hermit.

I really think I’m on the verge of being an anti social hermit, which may be a bit redundant, but I need to drive the point home. Most of you are probably aware of the fact that as you get older, it becomes harder to make friends. Well, that is definitely holding true for me.

High school was alright, I had a circle of friends, a seemingly never-ending amount of people to call/hang out with on the weekends. For the first few years of college, it seemed to happen pretty much the same way. We’d go out, have movie nights, go to events on campus. I had a fairly big circle of friends, always someone to talk on my cell phone to as I walked to class.

My last 2 years of college I became more busy, getting a job & going to school full-time. A lot of my old friends had dropped out/gone their separate ways, plus J-Bird & I were getting more serious. Became more like “acquaintances” with the people we had class with everyday-the people who had the same major as us & we never went hardly anywhere outside of class.

Fast forward to after college. I’ve moved around a lot trying to find jobs. I’ve switched jobs more than I’d like to admit. Because of this, it’s nearly impossible to meet people. Most people I meet are coworkers. Which, in some cases isn’t too bad, but right as I think I might be “getting close” to someone, I move. Ah, so, I had decided to become a hermit. Never leave the house. Ya know.

But, alas, my 2 favorite coworkers invited me out “for drinks” the other night at work. I hesitated. I always say no. I suppose out of pure habit. They begged. They pleaded. I texted J-Bird that’d I’d be late getting home, leave the porch light on. I felt like a loser because as we get to the Mexican restaurant, I had to tell the girls that I couldn’t have margaritas with them due to the medication I am taking. I ordered a sweet tea instead. I felt out of the loop as the other girls have known each other forever & talked about current & past relationships as I tried to fit in. AWKWARD. They then started asking me about my past relationships…something I’m iffy about sharing because I don’t have the greatest track record. Terrific. Apparently, I fail as a friend & at hanging out.

Back to being a hermit.


Pinky: The tale of a turquoise bike

One of my favorite other blogs to read recently did a post about the ghetto (read http://mooselicker.wordpress.com/2012/01/25/ghettos/), which inspired me to tell you guys about my own run-in with the ghetto. While I was still in college, I lived (with J-brid) in a tiny apartment about a half a mile away from campus. The people beside me were in a band, the little asian girls that lived above us eventually burned their apartment down & people were always breaking into the pool area at 2 am to have parties. Occasionally, there were gunshots. The carwash up the street always had black Escalades with tinted windows parked there. Yes, we were indeed in the ghetto.

I used to ride my bike that I lovingly named Pinky to school everyday. I had to park Pinky outside my apartment, but I chained her up to the railing, oh I dunno, 4 feet from my front door. She had a little registration tag on her so that she could also be parked on campus without being towed? or whatever they do to unregistered bikes.

The morning that Pinky went missing, I was supposed to have a meeting with the chancellor’s wife, so I had on my best outfit. That’s when I noticed…Pinky was gone. J-bird & I decided before the meeting (we had like 2 hours) we’d go to the on-campus security office to report her as missing. They told us to call the police. We called the police. They told us to call campus security. You get the idea. I was given the run-around. Bummed that Pinky may be gone forever, we began walking to my meeting, as J-bird yelled, There! Over there she is! I immediately looked up to see a young thug in a blue jacket riding my Pinky down the road! I dailed the police back as we took off running. I’m pursuing the bike suspect on foot! I yelled to cop.

We followed the thug all the way to the library (yea exactly where I’d go too with a stolen bike) where we watched him chain it to a tree. The cops then met us there to get a full description of the suspect. Then we had to wait 2 hours while they searched the library for the thug to arrest him…yes. Over a bike. Yes, I missed my meeting, having to send a classmate in my place.

Turns out the thug was a 12 year old child…that just wanted a bike. Nonetheless, Pinky went back home with me that day & we happily spent the rest of the school year together. Then, I moved to another ghetto.

Stay safe out there.


If only I were that easy. I mean it, if only it were that easy.

Ever since I graduated from college almost 2 years ago, I’ve progressively gotten more poor, thus becoming more frugal & less of a shopper. I’m always looking for a great deal, as both J-bird & I only work part time jobs & well we’re on the verge of poverty. Neither of us made that step that you’re supposed to make into adulthood where you find the job that you spent like 6 years in school for & make like a million dollars a year. Or, at the very least $30,000. We don’t ask for much, eh? Anyway, we still love window shopping, & one of our favorite places to go is TJMaxx. The unique shit, cheap prices…it just draws us RIGHT IN every time.

The other night, as we were browsing around, I saw a set of lamps that we didn’t need but I really wanted. J-bird immediately asked the price. Its only $40 for the set! I said, excited, thinking it was a good deal. When he looked at me like I had three heads I said, Do you think I could haggle the price down?

His response? If you flash the cashier, I’m leaving you.

It pains me how well he knows me sometimes.


My life is a like comedy/horror/action movie.

So, I have to tell you guys, there’s not really anything normal about my living situation…or seemingly about my life at the moment. The house I’m renting…well let me just describe what it looks like to you. Outside? Its the EXACT SAME SHAPE as the house from the Amityville Horror. I kid you not. Not familiar? Here you go:

Now, Since I’m paranoid as hell, I’m not going to post a picture of my own house so you’ll have to trust me on this one, but its creepy. My house is also plastered with old wallpaper with roses everyfreakingwhere. Its like I live in a garden from Alice in Wonderland. It gets worse.

We’re renting the place from my father-in-law & it used to belong to his mother. Oh, that’s not so bad, you say? Here’s the kicker, J-bird & I also have a roommate that we share parts of the house with. Nick. Nick’s a really loud, strange college student that always parks his car behind my car so that I have do drive through the yard & over the sidewalk to get out. I mean seriously, does this kid have a brain at all? I swear, if I have to hear him scream at one more sports game, I might burn his side of the house down.

Oh, I’m also scared of the basement, which happens to be where the washer & dryer are. I’m pretty sure zombies & vampires & aliens & ghosts live down there. Which is why we go commando now & never have any clean clothes.