If you’ve been keeping up with my twitter updates, you know I’ve been sick. It all started Thursday morning with a stuffy nose, body aches, fever…you know, the works. Since my job doesn’t allow for me to call out, I went to work. Thursday, Friday & Saturday. By Saturday evening I was convinced I had something worse than the common cold like cancer. Or strep throat.
So, J-bird & I sat out to find the only urgent care open after I got off work Saturday evening. In the middle of the ghetto. It was in the same building as a store that sold rims. Yes, as in RIMS TO GO ON THE TIRES OF YOUR CADILLAC. It was pouring down rain as we ran into the building with a neon sign flashing “open”. The girl at the front look pissed we were there, but she asked how I was doing. Seriously? How the hell do you think I’m doing, bimbo? Fanflippintastic. Anyway, I filled out the paperwork as the girl joked around with some guy behind the glass. They were laughing loudly and having a terrific time. The nurse called me back (yes, we were the only people there) after only a few minutes. The nurse looked to be younger than me…by a few years. Making her what? 20?
Anyway, I told her my symptoms, she told me they’d do a few tests & the doctor would tell me the results. They took us to the examination room…which looked like it was straight from one of the Saw movies. And to make matters worse? The walls were poop green. I mean, who choose that color? They couldn’t just go with light grey or something? They had to do a pee test, which is the worst. I pee’d halfway in the cup, halfway all over my hand in this tiny little shithole bathroom. Then I forgot what the nurse told me what to do with the cup when I was finished, so I wondered around the hallways looking for her, carrying my own pee. When I couldn’t find her anywhere (or anyone, for that matter), I was pretty sure we were about to be murdered, so I went to find J-bird. He gives me his blank stare, Why are you carrying your pee? I shrug. I can’t find the nurse and I don’t know what she told me to do with it. I mean, there was a table near the bathroom, was I supposed to leave it there? Now he’s giving me his crazy look. Well it depends on the kind of table it was. Did it have a lamp & flowers on it or did it have like medical stuff on it? I think I have a migraine. Does this look like a flower-&-lamp kinda place to you? Here. Take my pee back over there. I’m too weak to walk. He doesn’t move. I’m not touching that cup.
About that time, the nurse reappears from
killing other patients to test the pee & swab me for strep. The doctor walks in a few minutes later, pokes me…then says I have a sinus infection. Sure, if he says so. I’m on antibiotics & the road to recovery. Oh, & now I know where to get some sweet rims for my ride.