Guys, no joke, the stuff that pops up on my “Top Searches” creeps me the hell out. Actually I wish WordPress would just get rid of that feature all together. I could do without it. I really don’t need to know what people are typing into the search bar that leads them here, to this lovely paradise.
Lately the most searched phrase in my top searches is “my dad had sex with me”. Alright, guys. Let’s be clear here. I DID NOT do a post about that. I did a post a couple weeks back about the sex talk with my pops. Just sayin’. And if you’re struggling with your dad having sex with you, please, go tell the cops. Or your therapist. Or your mother. Or someone other than WordPress. Kthanks.
Also, globophobia gets searched all the time! Freaking nuts! Apparently everyone is scared of balloons. Like we should have a national globophobia day with a festival & shit. It’d be great. No balloons required. Just lots of funnel cakes.
Who’s with me on getting National Globophobia Day started?!
Also, watch what you search, I’m watching you.
Yea, for the first time ever. My dad & I are not the type of people to talk about serious things. We have the same sense of humor (& nose) so we always end up in humourous conversations. We avoid serious talk at all costs. Always. Until yesterday.
I’m still on my dad’s health insurance until I turn the ripe old age of 26. He figured by then either J-Bird or I would have a (real) job that actually offered health benefits (fat chance), so he agreed to keep me on his insurance even after I got married. Yesterday my dad called me on my lunch break to let me know that he had received a letter from my doctor that he thought was supposed to go to me, but he didn’t know that until after he opened it.
I’m on several medications, so of course I hoped that it was regarding my iron pills. My dad’s uncomfortable tone told a different story, The, uh, letter says that your, you know…BC pills aren’t covered by the insurance. Yea. He actually said “BC”. Oh, I knew that. I’m sorry that they sent that to you. I told my doctor that they weren’t covered, so they shouldn’t have even tried. I tried to play it cool. Well, if they just say it’s for your you know and not for the other stuff that you’re using it for than they might cover it. I’m surprised I was keeping up with this conversation. Dad, I’ve been on birth control for 5 years for my heavy you know. It’s not a big deal. It originally had nothing to do with the other stuff. Great. Now he knows I have sex. Not that he couldn’t have assumed. But I’d have rather it stayed that. An assumption.
So, yea, Dad, uh…did you get that email I sent? I attached some of my photography.
This is why I steer clear of serious conversations with my dad. And I never got the sex talk as a kid.