Tag Archives: roommate

I can see why people would think I’m a puplic nuisance.

I mean, after all, I rap to J-Bird to get him up in the mornings, I sing too loudly in my car (& sometimes outside of my car), I have a “I’m-going-to-work” dance that I do in the mornings, I sometimes exclusively talk in my (super convincing) Indian accent, & sometimes when my mom calls I act like I can’t speak English (she falls for it every time).

The reason I have been a little MIA lately is because J-Bird & I got slapped with a public nuisance complaint in the city we live in & we only have two (!!!) weeks to get our act together. For reasons completely unrelated to those listed above, unfortunately.

One of our nosy neighbors decided to tell the city that we had 12 people living in our house. In case you guys were wondering, I’m not hoarding an army over here, nor am I raising a small Mexican family. As most of you know, there’s 2 of us living here: J-Bird & me. We are, however, looking for a roommate to replace Nick. But just one person.

They also complained that our yard was too messy. Which we were aware of & in the process of cleaning up, but it takes time & a lot of work. So, this past week consisted of us trimming our lovely bushes (you still can’t really tell) & cleaning out the gutters (which was a pain in the butt). We actually had a small tree growing in our gutters.

Today, our adventure leads us to the spider infested carport closet to go hunting for the electric lawn mower. My guess is that the mower might need a blog post all on his own after today.


This is the most legit way to pick a place to live.

Over the past week or so, J-Bird & I have started looking for a place to move to since a lot of college students are moving out of their apartments this time of year. Also, around this time of year, a lot of apartment complexes in this area are running specials since students don’t usually stay over the summer so they need to fill up with other people. We’re wanting to move out of the Amityville house because of how many problems we’ve had & we hate our roommate.

Anyway, J-Bird doesn’t know it yet because he’s at work today, but we’re going to see an apartment this evening. I’m super excited about this particular place, but the original reason I chose it was because it was apartment 303.

Yea. Like after my favorite band. Because apparently, I think that’s a totally legit way to pick a place to call home.

Happy Monday.


All I know is that I have absolutely nothing figured out. And I hate those that do.

I’m going to go ahead & admit that I’m completely jealous of the couples that are my age that have it all together. How exactly did I end up living in the Amityville house working only part-time with a shower that doesn’t work & sitting in the floor? I’m not sure.

I’m jealous of the girl from work that got married 2 weeks ago, already purchased her house a year ago with the new hubby & they had already purchased new furniture as well. I never got those things. I don’t own a house. Most of my furniture (except my new couch that will be here next week-yay!) are cheap hand-me-downs. They’re already talking about starting a family (the only reason I know this is because of break room talk)…I can’t even afford a pet.

I don’t even speak to a good friend of mine from college because of my jealousy. I know, I know, I’m a terrible person! Judge me. But, she & I graduated together, got married less than 2 months apart, but she’s got it all figured out. She & her husband make triple what J-Bird & I make in a year, they purchased a house a couple of months ago, they look so happy, they have nice things, they each have a car, so on & so forth. J-Bird & I? Share a car. Share our house with Nick. I know, I know, I should be thankful for the things I DO have. But, then that’d be missing the point of my ranting post.

I’m jealous. I’m jealous of the people who have it together. I’m trying to pinpoint exactly where I went wrong. Was it when I decided to major in art in college? Or was it because I took 5 years instead of 4 years to graduate? Maybe it was because we moved only 2 weeks after graduating. Or maybe because I got fired from my internship a month after we moved. I could have been because we then choose to move AGAIN. Who knows at this point?

I just wish I could figure it out. Buy some furniture. Live in a nice place. Get a pet. Have a stable job making decent money. Get another car. C’mon. I’m not asking to run the freaking universe here.


A whore, a latina, a theater major, a black girl & a potentially gay guy all walk into a bar…

Oh, wait. Those are all my ex or current roommates. And there are more to come as soon as Nick moves out this summer. I decided to make you guys a list of all my past roommates (& the one current one) so you can see that I have about a 50/50 shot of getting a good roommate as my next one. You see, they haven’t all been bad. Believe it or not, I’ve actually liked a few of them. So, now, one of my favsies things, a list:

1. Dina, The Whore. I don’t normally call people mean names (ok, maybe I do), but I only call it as I see it. This chick was craycray. She was my roomie my freshman year of college. The first night in the dorms, she had let a few of her “friends” borrow her keys to come to our room to use her bed for sex…at 3 am. They stumbled in, sat on my bed (which was closest to the door) and nearly gave me a heart attack. I completely freaked out & told them to get out immediately. Other episodes include, but are not limited to: finding Dina a few doors down passed out missing her shoe, giving her endless advice on lingerie, & hearing all about the drama between boyfriend number 1 (in New York, at home) & boyfriend number 2 (in college).

2. Emilia, The Latina. Emilia moved in a mere week after Dina moved out. I didn’t know what to expect from her, but she seemed sooo much nicer than Dina I was super excited to see if we’d become friends. Thankfully, we did. In fact, we became very best friends. We went everywhere together, did everything together. We’d stay up late & gossip about boys (I was still very single & ready to mingle at the time & had my eyes set on my figure drawing model, but I’ll save that story for another blog post) & watching episodes of Sex & the City. When summer came, we went our separate ways, even crying as we said our goodbyes & unfortunately never really spoke again.

3. Melissa, The Black Girl. We lived together for a mere 2 weeks the beginning of my Sophomore year of college. I suppose I really was that bad to live with. We got along alright, hell, the night before she moved out she invited me out with pizza with her friends because my boyfriend & I had just broken up. The very next day, though, I came back from class & all her stuff was gone. Just like that. Never to be heard from again.

4. Naomi, The Theater Major. Thing is, I hate living alone, so once Melissa was gone I was on the hunt for a new roomie. 2 weeks after she’d moved out, a cool girl named Naomi came knocking at my door. She moved in the next day. Thing is, we were both artsy, so we had an understanding of each other, which was nice, but we never became good friends, which was also nice. We were just that terrific middle ground. We could go have lunch, then enjoy a quite evening in the dorm room together without feeling obligated to talk to one another. I lived with Naomi until I started dating J-Bird & moved in with him.

5. Nick, The Potentially Gay Guy. Here’s the thing. I poke fun of Nick a lot. Mostly because I do not like living with a roomie at this point in my life. I also just generally do not particularly like him. I mean, isn’t he too old for guy sleepovers at this point? And they’re always so loud. Also, just as a disclaimer, I do not actually think he is gay, nor do I have an issue with gay people. Just sayin’. He also parks his car in such a way that I can’t really get my car out because his car will not fit into his carport because of his foosball table. Yea, so there’s that. He never does his dishes & I’m pretty sure he’s gonna burn the house down one day trying to use the oven. We share the kitchen.

So, if I’m figuring this up right, the next roomie should be pretty top-notch, right? I don’t need a new freaking best friend forever. I need a decent human being that might want to have a board game night with us once a month & likes Harry Potter. Geez, is that too much to ask for?!

I’ll keep you guys posted foshizzle.


My life is a like comedy/horror/action movie.

So, I have to tell you guys, there’s not really anything normal about my living situation…or seemingly about my life at the moment. The house I’m renting…well let me just describe what it looks like to you. Outside? Its the EXACT SAME SHAPE as the house from the Amityville Horror. I kid you not. Not familiar? Here you go:

Now, Since I’m paranoid as hell, I’m not going to post a picture of my own house so you’ll have to trust me on this one, but its creepy. My house is also plastered with old wallpaper with roses everyfreakingwhere. Its like I live in a garden from Alice in Wonderland. It gets worse.

We’re renting the place from my father-in-law & it used to belong to his mother. Oh, that’s not so bad, you say? Here’s the kicker, J-bird & I also have a roommate that we share parts of the house with. Nick. Nick’s a really loud, strange college student that always parks his car behind my car so that I have do drive through the yard & over the sidewalk to get out. I mean seriously, does this kid have a brain at all? I swear, if I have to hear him scream at one more sports game, I might burn his side of the house down.

Oh, I’m also scared of the basement, which happens to be where the washer & dryer are. I’m pretty sure zombies & vampires & aliens & ghosts live down there. Which is why we go commando now & never have any clean clothes.