Yea, you guessed it, my ex best friend that is still kind of my friend but not really is getting married. Oh yea, and I’m a bridesmaid. Why? Why did I agree to torture myself with bad dresses, drama and fluffy hair? Because she was my matron of honor 3 years ago.
Long story short, our non friendship goes way back, and our friendship goes back even further…like 15 years. Ugh. I’m old. Sidetracked, sorry. She’s a manipulative, crazy drama queen any day of the week. Now multiply that times 10 to get bridezilla on steroids. Anyway, her colors are cotton candy pink and blue. I’m one of the unlucky souls that gets to wear the blue one (um, thankfully?) but she keeps changing her mind about the actual dress. Currently, I own a bridesmaid dress that was shipped from the Chinese blackmarket that doesn’t fit, if any of you are in need of one. It costs 200 pesos…
J-Bird and I were trying to come up with a way for me to avoid the wedding drama without being too harsh and since I can’t fake my own death because I want to keep my facebook account, we decided that I should have cancer and we’re going to move to Hong Kong.
I really think I’m on the verge of being an anti social hermit, which may be a bit redundant, but I need to drive the point home. Most of you are probably aware of the fact that as you get older, it becomes harder to make friends. Well, that is definitely holding true for me.
High school was alright, I had a circle of friends, a seemingly never-ending amount of people to call/hang out with on the weekends. For the first few years of college, it seemed to happen pretty much the same way. We’d go out, have movie nights, go to events on campus. I had a fairly big circle of friends, always someone to talk on my cell phone to as I walked to class.
My last 2 years of college I became more busy, getting a job & going to school full-time. A lot of my old friends had dropped out/gone their separate ways, plus J-Bird & I were getting more serious. Became more like “acquaintances” with the people we had class with everyday-the people who had the same major as us & we never went hardly anywhere outside of class.
Fast forward to after college. I’ve moved around a lot trying to find jobs. I’ve switched jobs more than I’d like to admit. Because of this, it’s nearly impossible to meet people. Most people I meet are coworkers. Which, in some cases isn’t too bad, but right as I think I might be “getting close” to someone, I move. Ah, so, I had decided to become a hermit. Never leave the house. Ya know.
But, alas, my 2 favorite coworkers invited me out “for drinks” the other night at work. I hesitated. I always say no. I suppose out of pure habit. They begged. They pleaded. I texted J-Bird that’d I’d be late getting home, leave the porch light on. I felt like a loser because as we get to the Mexican restaurant, I had to tell the girls that I couldn’t have margaritas with them due to the medication I am taking. I ordered a sweet tea instead. I felt out of the loop as the other girls have known each other forever & talked about current & past relationships as I tried to fit in. AWKWARD. They then started asking me about my past relationships…something I’m iffy about sharing because I don’t have the greatest track record. Terrific. Apparently, I fail as a friend & at hanging out.
Back to being a hermit.