I’m officially back from vacation! I must say that between terrorizing my younger cousins and being terrorized by my cousins I’m ready for another vacation.
I’ll just highlight a few things about the trip. Let’s see, shall we do a list? Let’s do.
- My cousin got third degree burns on his nipple. Apparently if you put salt & ice together, it burns your skin off?
- That same cousin got stung by a jelly fish & I taught him how to pee on his sting.
- J-Bird woke me up at 6 am to go bike riding on the island we were staying on.
- My mom danced in front of God and everyone in a beachwear store. I’m pretty sure they considered kicking us out.
- My brother’s girlfriend talked me into trying on ridiculous bathing suits while my mom danced.
- A different cousin went off to get her bellybutton pierced. She’s only 15.
- That same cousin spilled Cheeze-Itz all over my bedroom floor, so we had little orange crumbs everywhere like the entire week.
- We visited the local aquarium. I petted a bamboo shark. I also yelled at a small Asian man in the cafe for not giving me a free refill on my drink.
- During the family photo shoot, I fell off a stool & still have the bruise to show for it.
- My mom & I purchased matching sweatshirts.
- I called 911 on two guys that hit my mom’s car with fireworks on the 4th of July.
So there it is. My vacation, which I know is a stretch in the meaning of the word, in a nutshell. I go back to work today. Back to life. Back to reality.
Can you imagine 20ish people staying in a beach house for an entire week without killing each other? No, this isn’t the latest reality TV show.
Welcome to my yearly 4th of July family beach trip, which officially starts this Saturday.
Its our family tradition (on my mom’s side) to all pile into a beach front house & stay together for our “vacation”. Which usually ends up being so stressful, as you can imagine, that it doesn’t feel like a vacation at all. Family members include: my grandparents, my aunt, my batty cousin, 12 million bratty cousins, 1 cool cousin, 2 cousin’s boyfriends, my mom, my brother (Reese, who’s flying in from California today for this wondrous adventure) & Reese’s girlfriend. Oh yea, & the two most important people: J-Bird & I. In case you lost count, that’s a lot of people.
I’m excited. No, I’m dreading it. No, I don’t know what the hell I am. I want a week off of work & to see Reese (it’s been awhile since I’ve seen him). Just thought I’d give you all a heads up that you may not hear from me next week. Or ever if I don’t make it out alive.
I know, I know. In my last post I said I’d see you guys on Monday. It’s Tuesday. No, believe it or not, I did not get my days confused (yet) (this week). I was really bad sick yesterday though. I potentially had some sort of food/drink poisoning. Never, ever down a Java Monster in 30 minutes from a totally sketch convenient store if its the last one on the shelf. You’re welcome for that wise advice.
Anyway, this weekend was crazy awesome. We drove a few towns over on Sunday (2 hours away, I gave J-Bird a car concert the entire way, love you honey) for an art show & to see some family & friends we hadn’t seen in forever.
We visited with my mom & cousin for the first part of the day, which by the way, if you think I’m nuts, my mom is ten times nuttier. Ah, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. When we get together we’re like two very embarrassing peas in a pod for J-Bird. My cousin, Natalie, is my favorite, normal family member (on my side anyway) so its always a joy to see her.
We also met up with our favorite double date couple Haley & Justin for dindins. After that is when we drove home & I got sick & almost died. I’m feeling a little better today, butttttttttttt not much.
Oh, yes. A shout out to my best friend Bernard for graduating on Friday!! Congrats!
So, there’s my weekend in a nutshell. Hope everyone else had a terrific weekend/weekbeginning.
I’m going to go ahead & admit that I’m completely jealous of the couples that are my age that have it all together. How exactly did I end up living in the Amityville house working only part-time with a shower that doesn’t work & sitting in the floor? I’m not sure.
I’m jealous of the girl from work that got married 2 weeks ago, already purchased her house a year ago with the new hubby & they had already purchased new furniture as well. I never got those things. I don’t own a house. Most of my furniture (except my new couch that will be here next week-yay!) are cheap hand-me-downs. They’re already talking about starting a family (the only reason I know this is because of break room talk)…I can’t even afford a pet.
I don’t even speak to a good friend of mine from college because of my jealousy. I know, I know, I’m a terrible person! Judge me. But, she & I graduated together, got married less than 2 months apart, but she’s got it all figured out. She & her husband make triple what J-Bird & I make in a year, they purchased a house a couple of months ago, they look so happy, they have nice things, they each have a car, so on & so forth. J-Bird & I? Share a car. Share our house with Nick. I know, I know, I should be thankful for the things I DO have. But, then that’d be missing the point of my ranting post.
I’m jealous. I’m jealous of the people who have it together. I’m trying to pinpoint exactly where I went wrong. Was it when I decided to major in art in college? Or was it because I took 5 years instead of 4 years to graduate? Maybe it was because we moved only 2 weeks after graduating. Or maybe because I got fired from my internship a month after we moved. I could have been because we then choose to move AGAIN. Who knows at this point?
I just wish I could figure it out. Buy some furniture. Live in a nice place. Get a pet. Have a stable job making decent money. Get another car. C’mon. I’m not asking to run the freaking universe here.
As I was sweeping the stairs yesterday, I got to thinking about the very first time I got to explore the big old house I live in. It was a rather dark day several years ago, back when J-bird & I were still in college. We had gotten word earlier that week that his grandmother had passed away. So, we made the trek across part of the state for the funeral & upon arriving fashionably late to the church, we were asked to head over to the house to help clean it out afterward.
I had no idea that if we’d have flash forwarded a few years later I’d be living in that very same house, freezing my ass off every night with no heat & stuggling to survive with a roommate, but nonetheless, back to the real story. The thing is, J-bird has a normal family. I mean, I’m always the one with the crazy family drama going on…not him, but he has a crazy uncle. Yep, sure does. This is the story of my very first encounter with his crazy uncle. As I’m helping clean out the house, J-bird’s crazy uncle stops me on the stairs as no one else is around & askes a fairly normal question, Do you smoke? Naturally, I assumed he meant cigarettes, so I shook my head to which he replied, But I have the good stuff, are you sure?
It was at that moment I realized exactly WHAT he was talking about. I ran down the stairs, out of the house & grabbed J-bird to tell him it was time to leave. He didn’t understand until the ride home. I mean, really? I’m the one with abnormal family, but his uncle goes around asking people to get high after grandma’s funeral…IN HER OLD HOUSE. Terrific.