Tag Archives: death

Childhood Demons

I’ve always just assumed I would die young. I said to her, laughing nervously. I always laugh in awkward situations. When did you start feeling that way? She glared at me, writing.

I don’t know. I shrugged. I guess I came to that conclusion because I was a very sickly child. I missed a lot of school, had a lot of fears…so I just figured that would lead to an early death…my voice trailed off. What kinds of sicknesses or fears did you have? She pushed her glasses up on her nose.

I was curled up on her couch, hugging a pillow as if I were still 6 years old trying to figure it all out. I always thought my house was burning down or there was a tornado coming. I thought that if I sat up all night, I could keep myself and my brother from dying. I guess I had childhood insomnia, but my parents didn’t notice. She shifted in her chair. Those are logical for small children. The difference is that you had to take care of and become independent so quickly that you felt that you held a responsibility in being the protector. I nodded.

I had issues with my ears growing up which led to 2 surgeries and with allergies, sinuses, that sort of thing. I also seemed to get the stomach flu alot. When I was 15, I found out I had kidney stones. It just seemed like I was never in school. My parents smoked around me and we had cats. She sighed. That probably explains it. The smoking. Children don’t do well around parents that smoke and it can affect their health dramatically.

So I’m not going to die young? I didn’t laugh this time.


The Hearse, Part 2, apparently.

I was really hoping there wouldn’t be a part 2 to this story. I you missed part 1, click here. So, again on my commute (this time in the middle of the afternoon) I got behind a hearse. What the hell is going on here?! Well at least this one had curtains, & no dignity this time (well in the type sense). This one looked like it stepped straight out of the 80’s & onto the road…all boxey with the paint peeling off. Ick. I don’t think that seeing a hearse is that common on my commute to work…I’ve never noticed before. Maybe I’m just being uber paranoid. Now, I’m waiting for something bad to happen.

Speaking of bad omens, I had to go to the doctor this morning to get my blood drawn & I’m pretty sure the bear of a nurse that did it just stabbed the needle in my arm then amputated. At least, that’s what it felt like.

Sorry for the morbid post.



If its written in gold, there goes your dignity.

While on my morning commute to work (yea I’m totally one of those people), I was behind a hearse. Yea, like the car that carries dead people. How creepy is that?! Whatever, I thought so. I could see the top of the coffin peeking over the window out the back of the car at me. The window had “dignity” written in an ugly serif typeface in gold. Yea, that poor person in the coffin just lost all theirs. Aren’t there supposed to be curtains on those windows? WHERE THE HELL WERE THE CURTAINS? So, even worse than being physically behind the hearse was the song that was playing:

“Maybe tomorrow the good lord will take you away?” Just great. Is this some kind of a joke or bad omen or something? Well, Jesus, Karma, Zeus, Mel Gibson, whoever is in charge of this shindig, please don’t take me away. I thought that all of this meant I was going to have a crap day at work, but it went ok.

I mean, what could have really gone wrong when I was wearing my pink feather earrings & sparkly blazer??