Tag Archives: cars

Your moronic white person is showing.

I was involved in a high speed chase earlier this week. Ok, OK. I use “involved” loosely. Watch-it-go-down-as-I-was-on-the-interstate is more of an accurate description of the situation at hand. Before I get to exactly what happened, let me just say I do not condone running from the cops in any way, shape or form. You will get caught. Especially if you do it all wrong, like this person did. 

Now, a list of all the dumbass things this person did while running from the cops:

1) It was 4:45 pm. That means we were just way too close to 5:00 traffic. C’mon. You can’t run properly if you’re stuck in traffic like the rest of us. He had to drive in the emergency lane and everyone knows that’s where all the fender benders are parked. JESUS.

2) He was in a hunter green Mini Cooper. Yea, that’s a little wee british car there, mate. Meant for city driving and parallel parking, not speeding off from the cops. IT DIDN’T EVEN HAVE RACING STRIPES.

3) He gave up too easily. I actually saw the guy get caught about a football length in front of me. AT LEAST LET THEM BREAK OUT THE SPIKES. You went through all this trouble, after all. You’re already going to the slammer, douche.

4) He was white. No, I’m not racial profiling. White people cause issues just as much as all the other races. That’s not what I mean. He was A SCRAWNY NERD WHITE DUDE WEARING LOAFERS. That’s what I mean. At least try to look badass. Mess your hair up or something.

Guys, seriously, this guy caused traffic to be backed up and he didn’t even give us a good show. Learn your lesson here today. Don’t run from the cops. And if you do, do it the right way.

 

Brenna!

If she really had that much money, she’d wear cuter shoes.

I’m referring to the new girl at work. Now, before I explain too much about her, let me first say that I do like her. Not like her in that I’d be friends with her or that I’d hang out with her or I’d go out of my way to be nice, but I’ll compliment her hair on a good day. She’s annoying though. Really annoying. Like 63% of the time.

Her name is Tina and the first time I met her she made fun of my car for being too small. I call it economical. She drives a large crossover, smokes, and constantly brags about how much money she has. This bothers me. I don’t think it’s jealousy, I think I’m genuinely annoyed because I’m not interested in her finances.

Also, if all this were true, she should buy better fucking shoes.

 

BrennaG

I don’t want to loose a door whilst driving 70 mph down interstate.

J-Bird & I have recently been immersed in the idea of car shopping. Now, I say idea because I’m still not entirely sure we’re ready to take it any further than that. The thought of buying a new car (& by “new” I, of course, mean “used”. What do we look like? Bazillionaires?) is catchy, but perhaps not realistic. Then again, will it ever be?

Now, let’s get a few things straight. As I may have mentioned before, J-Bird & I share a car. Another term I use loosely: share. By share, I mean, he doesn’t have a driver’s license so we solely depend on me to get us everywhere, on time, everyday. Sounds like a big deal, but it’s always been that way, so for me it’s not an issue. That does mean, however, that in the case of a new car, it will need to be mostly approved by me because I’ll be the one driving it.

Also, this will be my third car. Which seems like a lot to me. I’m going through more cars than underwear in a week at this point. That would be three cars in 8, almost 9 years. Seems excessive. In my defense, my first car was wrecked & it wasn’t my fault. I’d probably still have that car had it not been wrecked, but I digress.

Now, you guys are probably wondering why we’re even considering a new car at this point. I’ve had my current car for barely 2 years & just looking at it you’d think it was in fine shape. Except, it’s not. We’ve had a lot of problems out of it, spent quite a bit of money on repairs & it still clanks around like a door or bumper could fall off at any given second. I’m thinking sell it or trade it while we can still get some money out of it.

My ideas for car options currently are a Mazda3 or a Pontiac G6.

Thoughts? Anyone own either of these cars? Had experiences buying new cars? I’d like to hear from you.

BrennaG.