Guys, no joke, the stuff that pops up on my “Top Searches” creeps me the hell out. Actually I wish WordPress would just get rid of that feature all together. I could do without it. I really don’t need to know what people are typing into the search bar that leads them here, to this lovely paradise.
Lately the most searched phrase in my top searches is “my dad had sex with me”. Alright, guys. Let’s be clear here. I DID NOT do a post about that. I did a post a couple weeks back about the sex talk with my pops. Just sayin’. And if you’re struggling with your dad having sex with you, please, go tell the cops. Or your therapist. Or your mother. Or someone other than WordPress. Kthanks.
Also, globophobia gets searched all the time! Freaking nuts! Apparently everyone is scared of balloons. Like we should have a national globophobia day with a festival & shit. It’d be great. No balloons required. Just lots of funnel cakes.
Who’s with me on getting National Globophobia Day started?!
Also, watch what you search, I’m watching you.