I’ve been getting treatments once a month for some time now over an ahem…medical condition that requires a shot in the butt. 3 shots to be exact. It just so happens that this month’s treatment fell on V-day, thus my morning is already off to an eventful start.
I got up bright & early, actually, scratch the bright because it was still dark out when I got up. I wanted to make sure I was nice & clean if a doctor was going to be looking at my nether regions this morning. Not that he probably judges, as I have the medical conditions of an 85 year old woman, so that’s probably what he sees throughout the day. At least, that’s what I tell myself to make it all better.
Nonetheless, I arrived at the doctor’s office 3 mintues early, signed in & started watching The Weather Channel on the nice big screen TV. They had a cheesy animated cupid floating around, mocking me. How fitting.
When the nurse called me back, she walked me down the long hallway & put me in the exam room with the comment, I’m sure you know what to do by now, Mrs. Grimes. I nodded. I pulled my pants down to my knees, sighed, & laid down on the exam chair, covering my bottom half with the giant see-through paper towel that they give you.
Then, the waiting game. It felt like forever, but in reality it was only like 5 minutes. I stared around the room. Green textured wallpaper. Ugly. Stacks of latex gloves in every size humanly possible. Soap with the brand name Enhance. Weird. Conversations from the next room over. Wow, that guy’s worse off than me. Momentarily feeling better. Then, a knock at the door with a preggo nurse & my doctor.
The shots themselves aren’t painful, mildly uncomfortable, but I chatted with the doctor about how clumsy I normally am (wtf?), then he told me this would be my last visit. Excitement. No more shots. He said I got to graduate today! Yay!
So, there you have it. My already eventful morning of getting shot by
cupid my doctor.